Sometimes it's a good thing not to be gifted.

In the last two weeks we have been thinking a lot about two things in particular. Of course, we have In fact been thinking about so many things that I now understand a little better what it must feel like to have smoke coming out of your ears, but this brought to the forefront the question of priorities, and within this topic the idea of what are our gifts, and when is it wise to rest. These two topics might appear to be quite separate and to have nothing to do with one another, but if you bear with me, I may be able to explain why in fact I think that these two things are inherently related.

I want you to understand, as I write this, that perhaps I could have sat down and been more systematic in how I thought about this subject, but the time for that, for now, has passed, so welcome to my stream of thought

Starting with the idea of our gifts. The bible clearly speaks to us that we all have gifts, there are things that some of us do better than others. There are talents, for example musical talent, or artistic talent, or a talent for understanding how to construct Excel spreadsheets (this is not one of my gifts – but when needs must), these gifts are the ones that we sometimes are able to quantify more readily, because there is an end product. Then there are gifts such as hospitality, or caring for others, these gifts are less clearly quantified because the end product of these gifts are harder to clearly define, deepening of relationships, harmony between people, joy. Beyond this there are also gifts that are even more difficult to describe, perspective, emotional strength, and so on. There are many more, this is not meant to be a list of all the possible gifts, neither is it the list of gifts that IS available for you to study in the bible, I recommend, if this is a topic of interest for you, to take some time to read and research what the Bible has to say on this subject.

I do not believe that we all have one specific gifting, nor do I think that not having a gifting should immediately stop us from partaking in that activity. Some gifts are meant to be practised by all. We might not all have the gift of hospitality, having people over to our house, cooking for them, cleaning up after them, trying to subtly persuade them to leave when they have overstayed their welcome, these things are tiring! And the idea of being able to sit at home on our own, in our comfy clothes, with a glass of wine and the latest episode of whatever is most popular on Netflix, sounds a lot easier, and even more fun than all of the mess physically and emotionally that comes with other people. However, we know as well, that we are made to be in community, that sacrificing some of ourselves for others ultimately creates joy and harmony in others, but also in us. We know that this is an important practise, and though it might not be our gift, we practise it none the less. 

Not all gifts are like this. As we have seen for over a decade on PopIdol, XFactor etc. We strive where it is clear that there is benefit for the larger community. This is our responsibility.

Now, for some of you, when asked; what are your gifts, you are able to rattle them off. You have had years of time to develop and deepen your understanding of your gifts. Congratulations, and I hope that you are indeed being a good steward of your gift, that you are using them for the benefit of your community and if you are a member of a church, that you are using them for God. For the rest of us, who wake up some mornings and can’t even find our foot to put our sock on – for us knowing what exactly is our gift can be anxiety inducing. What am I good at? WHAT AM I GOOD FOR? What is it that I should be developing? We are riddled by questions that cause us to either thrash about with questionable motivation to find our usefulness, or then paralysed into doing nothing. If you are in this boat, welcome, you are in good company…and this is where our two themes are tied.

To be able to discover what our gifts are, what use they could be to our jobs, our families, our friends, our community, our fellowship. We need to stop. We need to rest and we need to consider/meditate on these things. Culturally, we do not stop. I have said it before, but we never just ‘are’. There is always something to do, a job to finish, food to make and eat, people to call, Instagram to count our likes on, washing to put out, Netflix isn’t going to watch itself, and Liverpool isn’t going to win this game if I am not actively participating from my couch. There are always distractions, important, and less important things that need to be done. But the thing is, that not all of it has to be done by you, and some of it you can cut the corners with – and then there are some things, that can be done best by you in this moment. How do you know which is which, if you don’t stop to figure it out.

Last week I missed updating my blogpost because I was tired. Not just on Monday when I was meant to write it or on Tuesday in a last moment panic. But tired in general. On that Sunday, I became somewhat upset over the smallest thing, and I cried at church. Anyone that knows me, knows that this is not a common occurrence, and usually only happens when I am tired and frustrated. That was Sunday, and I got speaking to Tomas, and realised, that no matter how tired I was, he must be at least 8 times more tired. Why? Because he is running around like there are 3 of him. With the building project, with an ever-growing church, with a toddler whose in the phase of learning 8 new things a day, and with a career he needs to maintain his family. There aren’t enough of him to go around, and there isn’t enough time for him to concentrate on the things that he is best at. So we stopped, and we went to the beach. Him, Carol, myself and Samuel, all were fortified by rest. Whilst away, with my mind able to calm, I realised that I too, was doing many things, some which I have no gifting for, but need to do because there is no one at the moment to do them – these I will continue but with a mind to look out for more able people. Some things that I have no gift for, and there ARE others who could and therefore SHOULD be doing it in my stead. Some things that I am doing that are my gifting, and I am the right person in the right moment to be doing them, and some things that are my gifting, but this is not the right time for them.

When we stop, when we rest, and when we make a point of prioritising our lives, we can find the sweet spot where we are working in unity with the rest of the body of the community, each performing their function and strengthening the community. It is in this sweet spot that we find more of that elusive joy and hard fought for harmony. It is where we learn to value and respect the gifts of others, and to give thanks for our own gifting. This week was also the first time I have ever given thanks for the LACK of gifting. Thankfully I don’t have this gift, because if I did, I would never be able to stop. I would never have met this person who has enriched my life and I would have never learnt to rest my burdens on those in my community.

I very briefly saw a post on Instagram by a famous actress this week, and in it she was interviewed by Men’s Health, or some other men’s magazine, in it she says that she doesn’t think that humanity is made to be monogamous and her reasoning for this is because monogamy makes us vulnerable. Her argument is that vulnerability is bad, and that we should never be put in that position. I would like to contradict her here. I would like to defend vulnerability as the ONLY way that we can truly build lasting and fruitful relationships. With God, with our family, with a partner, with friends, or with a community. Recognizing your gifts, and your lack of them makes you vulnerable, because it shows you where you need others, and where you are responsible for others. This is ultimately (and contradictorily) a position of strength.

My challenge to you is to stop this week, take some time to consider your gifts, the things that seem to come a little easier to you now than to others. Prioritise them, and consider if you are using those gifts adequately. Are they being wasted, or over stretched? Are you using them for your own advancement, or would you consider blessing those around you and leaning on them to bless you as well. This responsibility is yours, and only you can comply here. Although maybe there is someone whose gifting is seeing the gifts of others, if this is you. Bless you! Now please help those around you!